WC: The Muse Dropped by the Other Night

I woke up around 2 or 3 am the other night, and while sitting on the can, about 75% asleep, I was visited by the muse. She dropped off an idea and lots of words to go with it.

She has visited me occasionally in the past, and I am grateful whenever she stops by. So I finished my business, stumbled back into my livingroom-bedroom-office, grabbed some paper, and started writing. At this point, I was, maybe, only 45% asleep. When the paper was covered with words, I jotted ideas on backs of envelopes from my "to-do" pile. And then I fell back into bed.

Last night, she visited again. This time I remembered that I keep a notebook next to my bed for just this very reason, and I grabbed it and took her dictation.

And now I'm finding myself a little frightened of reading what I wrote. I'm definitely in the midst of some sort of fiction-block. Even thinking of unfolding the first piece of paper is making me a little short of breath.

But the muse visited, and I need to hold up my end of the deal.

To work.

And then there was light.

It's been slightly more than a year since I got my graduate degree, and since then, I've definitely come to terms with the fact that it didn't give me superpowers :/ But it's taken that much time for me to reset. I've finally found my way back to writing again, and its great.

The blog is going well—I'm having a BLAST! Come visit @ http://anthroinpractice.blogspot.com and let me know what you think—leave a comment, and feel free to disagree. I'm waiting hear back from a journal regarding my CMC study, and I'm editing another paper I wrote in grad school for the Kroeber Anthropological Society. I've got a great idea for a non-fiction book, and I've started the research for it. So it seems like I've finally climbed out of the void that I sat around in after leaving academia. And you know, what? After having a chance to read some modern science writing, I've realized that I'm good at this. And I like doing it. Sure, it doesn't sound like Malinowski or Radcliffe-Brown, but that's cause I'm Krystal D'Costa—and one day, people are going to be citing me ;)

Krystal

Adventures in the Blogosphere

I've decided to blog about the anthropology I find in everyday events. I'm hoping that this will help me think more about anthropology--and get me used to writing about anthropology in a non-academic way. One of the challenges I am having right now as I work on some fiction is that I feel it sounds too smart. So I hope you all will join me occasionally to help investigate anthropology as it happens.

Krystal

http://anthroinpractice.blogspot.com

Rejection DOES NOT Equal Dejection

So, hoity-toity Ethos has declined my article. The editor actually wrote me a rather nice letter explaining she did not think my piece was a good fit for the journal--bear in mind, that this was the second submission of that piece to Ethos after edits specifically requested by Ethos had been made. Nonetheless, she offered me additional suggestions, but felt that my topic did not adequately address the individual, which is what Ethos claims to focus on. I disagree--my piece is absolutely about the individual--but I am not disheartened. (Okay, well, maybe a little disappointed.)

I sent it out to another journal last night. I didn't make her suggested edits, since they were made for Ethos while making it clear that they weren't for Ethos.) If this other journal has suggestions--and they probably will (hey, I'm a realist)--then I'll go back and take another look. But it was so difficult to let the piece go that now that it's out in the wide world, I want it to stand on it's own before I start to "tweak" it again.

And, besides, I have other writing to do.

--Krystal

A Productive Way to Procrastinate from Reading Freshfolks' comp essays

I revised and sent out four poems to a journal instead of "working." Writing and submitting instead of doing school stuff may be best and sneakiest way to trick myself into doing it. And it made my soul thicker than a playing card. Jayne

For HC - Abstract

Holly, I had to sign an agreement that I would not post any part of my article until the review was completed and a decision made. I learned today that the approx. time frame for this is 2-3 months (which is an agonizingly long time). I'm trying to determine whether I can post the abstract. Once I have an answer, I'll share if I can.

Krystal

PS: I got some "notes" down on paper tonight for my creative piece.

Here's my new favorite writing quote:

From What If?, the book my intro creative writing class is using for fiction, from a Joyce Carol Oates Paris Review interview:

Q: How do you describe the perfect state in which you can write from early morning into the afternoon?

Oates: One must be pitiless about this matter of "mood." In a sense, the writing will create the mood . . ..I have forced myself to begin writing when I've been utterly exhausted, when I've felt my soul as thin as a playing card, when nothing has seemed worth enduring for another five minutes . . .and somehow the activity of writing changes everything.


(Promise? OK . . .) Jayne

If it helps at all...

I've learned a way of getting around the scary, and it works most of the time. I don't WRITE. I type notes, words, thoughts, sentences...and then when I have enough, I edit them. I never actually WRITE, because WRITING is scary. So scary, it has to be in caps. If I just "throw things on paper" and then edit them, I skip the WRITING. This works at least in the beginning.

Hope it helps a teeny bit.

Holly

"The scariest moment is always just before you start."
- Stephen King, On Writing

I have an idea. And I think I'm ready to see where it wants to go. I just need to give myself over to it. And it's scarier than I imagined.

But sending my article out has given me a new resolve. I am going to see if I can't get a plot sketch down tonight. I've got the King quotation to keep me moving.

Krystal

HC: Congratulations!! ...and thanks...

Wow, Jayne and Krystal, I am in awe. My fingers are crossed for both of you.

The "thanks" part comes because I am about to rerererererere-read my finished novel. I'm off to Seattle for a week of fun, food, rest, hiking (minor), and reading "Cape May." Four people have read it and made comments, and now I will do additions, deletions, updates, and try to make it better Better BETTER!! That's my goal anyway. Having my sister OPDers in my head and spirit will help a great deal.

Thank you!!

To Krystal and Jayne

Brava!

(from Wendy)

A Nice Boost

I got an email yesterday from the editors at Seven Kitchens Press that my chapbook manuscript is a finalist in the Keystone Poetry Prize. Still 14 mss. in the mix, but the boost is palpable--the "It doesn't suck" affirmation helped get me back to the writing desk this morning, and to a new (kinda scary, which is good) approach to some material. Even a short poem I rediscovered hiding as a writing exercise and revised. Huzzah! Jayne

Submitted!

I sent in my article submission today for Ethos. All I have to do now is wait. It could take a month for the reviewers to get through the piece, it could be six months--BUT, it's done and it's in and whatever may be will be.

I'm ridiculously happy.

Krystal

There's someone on my trail ...

Yes, indeed. It's a team as a matter of fact, not just "someone." It turns out that I lit the fire just in time: "Other" research on digital media is emerging -- and the study has been given the honor of "one of the first to model social influence in a virtual world." AHHH!! I have no one to blame but myself; I've been fiddling with this since I graduated. Well, it's going out. Better late than never ... besides, we can study the same field, right?

From HC to KD: Will you share?

What is your writing project for? Can you tell us? Is it a magazine submission?

First Drafts Don't Have to Be Perfect

In fact, it's even okay if they stink.

(I just needed to remind myself.) Wendy

PS. I decided to include a picture of something that is perfect, just for contrast.

Make way for progress.

My hardass deadline seems to have kicked me into gear. I put the article through some vicious editing (and in the process realized that somewhere along the line my academic "voice" has changed--but for the better!) I'm winding up data collection and expect/hope to have the discussion and conclusion done over the coming weekend.

This is it. I can see the end of the path up ahead, and I'm relieved.

Yay Krystal!

I'm so glad you've decided to send your baby out into the world. That's very exciting.

Knowing when to let go is an endless challenge for me. I remember reading that one author--I forget who--said that she knew she was done when her changes were hurting rather than helping her work. But, personally, I can't always tell when that is. And sometimes, I just say, "Okay, good or bad, I've got no more juice for this particular project."

I'm looking forward to your pirate writing!

Decisions, Decisions

That's it. I have finally come to the decision that I need to stop nursing my article. The constant tweaks and rewrites mean that I won't send this out until well after I have a child and put him or her through college--and by then, my research will be hopelessly out of date. I am setting a firm deadline to submit the piece to a journal by the end of the month. And then I am moving on--pirates, suspense, archaeology all beckon from the shadow cast by this monster. I'm afraid I'll stop writing completely if I don't let it go.

Bound for Vengeance

That's the title of my lez-noir, for which I now have a plot outline! Yay!

Wendy

Jayne, You Beat Me to It

I was planning on posting a very similar post. One addition though: I write more when sitting with a writing buddy, because I feel sheepish procrastinating quite as much as usual!

Jayne says "Here's to Writing Buddies"

Wendy and I had a great writing weekend here in PA, trolling coffee shops and bookstores for writing times. Between good meals and bad movies, and the fact that nothing's open on Sundays in rural PA, we managed several writing sessions. Working with a writing buddy really helps me keep going longer than I might have by myself, or do one more stint than I would have if I was on my own. It's also nice to be able to talk through an idea if you want. I came away with some new and revised projects to keep going on, and the renewed enthusiasm to do it. Yay for writing buddies! Jayne

I sent out a manuscript

Here's to the adrenaline rush (or hyperventilation, depending on perspective) of sending out a manuscript! I just emailed a newly compiled, revised and edited chapbook manuscript to a competition for PA writers. Wish me luck. It has felt good to really WORK on this, and feels really good to send it out. Jayne

Immersion and Post-Immersion

First, Congratulations, Holly! Finishing is inspiring, and yes, the fact that "finishing" is another stage, and is vulnerable as well as exciting.

Just got back from a 4-day poetry conference--intense, exciting, annoying, terrifying, exciting. After my first poem was workshopped, one that had already been published, I had to go back to my dorm room for a couple of hours and decompress. It got a lot of praise--words like "perfect" and "beautiful" were mentioned, along with some very specific, very good local suggestions for changes. So why did I feel like I wanted to go hide under the covers and never come out again? I just felt so raw, exposed--finally what started the tears, the catharsis, is when the cover-hider part of myself said, "It's hard!" (Waaa). I was happy to hear another part of myself immediately respond "No shit!"

I was able that night to absorb the comments, revise the poem, and go on to have another piece workshopped, as well as survive in fine fashion an individual conference with workshop leader Lisa Williams, and write a new poem from the exercise she gave the group.

So, waaa, yes it's hard, and somehow either the feeling of "nothing" or the feeling of being exposed both seem like things (like Wendy's description of the Descending Demons, whose cousins I know so well) to go through/past again and again. And I want to remember like what's on the other side. It's alive. Jayne

BRAVA HOLLY!!!!!

Wooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo!

Wendy

HC is pretty darned proud right now...

I just finished the first draft of my first novel. Approx 185 pages, 63,000 words...and some of them don't stink!

Who knows.

I'm going to let it sit for a few days, then print the whole thing out and read it. I'm sure there's still a lot of work to be done, but, hey, I finished the first draft. I have a complete stranger (the friend of a friend) who's willing to read it, and I have a good friend who's willing to read it. I'm going to come up with very concrete questions for them to answer. Whatever the answers, I will continue with my edits, etc.

This is very exciting and scary. I'm glad I can now work on my nonfiction book for a while. That's sort of easier because it's a biography. I don't need to be brilliant, I need to be clear and informative.

Right this very moment, life is very good.

Same As It Ever Was, Same As It Ever Was

So I just wrote for the first time in about a week. I had been writing pretty much every day, but then I got busy for a day or two, and as soon as I lost my momentum, the demons descended:

• Demon 1: Why write at all? You'll never finish anything!
• Demon 2: And even if you do, it'll stink.
• Demon 3: And even if it's any good, it'll never get published.
• Demon 4: You're not a real writer.

Well, I finally fought the demons with the only weapon I know of that works: ACTUALLY SITTING DOWN AND WRITING!

I don't know why I have to go through this cycle again and again and again and again, but at least the demon part of the cycle has gotten shorter over the years. That's progress!

Wendy

Back, and back atcha

Dear Possible Dreamers--I can really see the help from our ebbs and flows here, en-couraging each other. Back from a couple of weeks being mom and daughter in CA, it's good to read the posts from everybody and get re-energized to return to my work, and re-reminded that "not being nice" is an important message. It also really helps to hear everybody talking about their writing processes and working in the head, on post-it notes, and on multiple projects at once. Sometimes it's hard to see how things are moving forward in our own work, so it helps to hear others.

I did take pieces to CA and worked on revising them some mornings when I was still on East Coast time and woke up before anybody else. Also took my journal and walked to the Starbucks a mile from my mom's--two healthinesses with one stone. So thanks for your support and presence, everybody. I'm feeling re-energized. Thanks.

Jayne

Uh, Writing Is Hard . . .

I think I'm definitely going to focus on my noir novel for a while and let my play simmer and/or die a natural death. I've been posting reviews online and doing a lot of writing at work, but now I want to work on my own stuff for a while.

I had all these ambitions--each day I was going to write X amount of hours or X number of words and have a rough draft in X weeks. I got enthusiastic and then scared and then paralyzed. Which reminded me of two things my fabulous San Diego therapist used to say:

1 (with much affection and humor): "Do we have to go through this again?"

and

2: "Write when you can."

Oh, yeah.

Wendy

HC: Downtime is okay...I guess

I'm dying to work on my book, but I'm really busy! Even when I have a moment of free time, I need to use it to relax. However, I've discovered that the book is SO there, inside my head, that I'm working on it even when I'm not working on it. Something will happen during the day and I'll think, "OH, that's why my main character would do/not do something. Yes, I can use that."

Although I'd like to be spending hours and hours writing, rewriting, tweaking, deleting, I can't right now. I have to take the little gifties that my brain throws me from time to time, and work them into the 167 pages I currently have. The book will get finished, whether next week or 6 months from now. That's progress right there.

Holly: Oh, I'm NOT perfect, huh?

I'm doing sound and light boards for a show ("Our Lady of South Division Street", by Tom Dudzick) at Penguin Rep in Stony Point, NY, and last night I messed up a cue. I thought I hit both the space bar on the sound board keyboard with my left hand and the GO button on the light board with my right, but the lights didn't go out as they were supposed to. The stage manager said, again, into my ear through my headset, "LIGHTS" and then I hit the GO button and the lights went out.

There was perhaps a 3-second delay...which felt like 10 minutes. However, the world did not stop spinning. The show went on, and the audience applauded at the end and loved it.

My heart was beating very fast. Adrenaline pumping. Negative self thoughts started, and I just stopped them. As my stage manager says, we're not researching cancer here. It's a show. It's all okay. She actually called the cue a nano-second late. I hit the button late. When the lights came on again, the crew had forgotten to put a necessary prop in its place, probably causing adrenaline overload in the two actors on stage. Hey, it's live theater folks. Both actors covered the mistake so well I doubt if anyone in the audience even noticed. That's thinking on your feet. 

I really like the fact that, no matter how many times you've done a show, you can still mess up. There is no such thing as perfection. And that's a great lesson! 

Wisdom to Know the Difference

So, I'm stuck. My play is not coming along. I've been writing about it, I've been writing around it, but I haven't been able to actually write it. So, here's the question: does this mean that I'm just blocked and should keep at it, or that I need to completely rethink it, or that it's time to retire it and move on to something else? And the answer is? Damned if I know

So I'm going to take some time to work on another project I have in mind. I figure that as long as I keep writing something, I'm all right!

And I want to start sending out my short plays and full-length screenplay. If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it . . .

Wendy

Yay You All! And Me!

Been spinning my wheels a bit (more than a bit!) with my play. I keep telling myself I should just write everything down and then cull, but I haven't been able to find a way in. So I've been reading a playwrighting book, which is helping some, and jotting down notes. I think I've made some decisions/come to some realizations. I'm not actually writing-writing, but I'm writing-ish. It's something.

And today I posted two play reviews and an entry on The Write Bunch, and I'm writing about my play if not actually writing my play, and it's only 1:00, so I rock.

Wendy

I did something!

Hi everyone. I finally opened the article I've been editing after a few days of avoiding it completely. I finished the edits to the lit review section, and reviewed the data for the discussion. Thanks to Wendy for reminding my inner child that work and play are separate--even if they look suspiciously alike.

Krystal

Holly is learning from Jayne...

My lead character in my novel did something I'm not sure I'm happy about, and I'm not 100% sure I like. Although I think, as the author, I did give her every reason to do it, and it makes sense, I'm still not sure I like her for it.

Wendy said it's okay to not like your lead character sometimes.

Jayne says it's okay to be nasty.

BUT I WANT EVERYONE TO LOVE ME!!! Well, I will get over that, and I will learn from the wonderful people on this blog.

Thanks!!

Holly

AV: Notes to Self

Toot! This is my first entry on this blog! Toot! Toot!

Today while brushing my teeth I had a phrase for a new poem run through my head. Did I say to myself that I would remember it? Yes, I did! Did I repeat it to myself a few times to make sure that I would remember it? Yes! I did! And did I then put down my toothbrush and actually write the damn thing down on a post-it note and stick it to the mirror?? Why yes, I did. :)

This, my friends, is what we like to call progress.

Love this blog!

ps -- Jayne, you're better when you're a bit naughty.

-av-

One Other Thing

Yay, Jayne for not being nice. Very impressive! And I'm glad it was rewarding. Wendy

Wendy Has a Unique Evening

Last night, in an interesting coincidence, I saw a rough cut of the movie version of my short play, You Look Just Like Him, and then went to see the play itself performed. My nephew Charlie, who was the production assistant on the film, directed it (very well) as part of his high school's evening of one acts.

It was a rewarding evening in many ways. The movie is looking good. The play was well-done and well-received. I got a vivid lesson in the differences between movies and plays. I got compliments, which I ate right up (hey, it gets lonely writing!).

I'd love to write more about it, but I need to focus on my full-length play. I've been writing pretty much daily. Well, what I've been doing is more like un-writing--I've deleted dozens of pages. But pruning is part of growing, so I'm calling it writing.

Jayne finds it pays not to be nice

Good reading last night--decent crowd, lots of positive feedback, even sold three books and got an honorarium I wasn't expecting. Most importantly, read 4 new pieces, and the one that people responded to most positively was the one that WASN'T NICE--it seemed to strike chords in several, and was the one people mentioned liking the most.

Slogging through and learning...

Holly:

I'm learning so much about the process of writing an entire book, like what to reveal and when, and that the more pages you write the more information sort of has to be stretched out. As I write page 155, it changes something on page 30. Page 157 packs more of a whallop (is that how you spell that?) if you don't telegraph too much too early on. It's almost like science.

I'm dissecting parts of the book to look at them separately, to see how they build. At one point I realized my main character has exactly the same conversation with three different people! That's changed now.

It's all so interesting and difficult and most of all fun. I'm having a great time, and I so appreciate having people to talk to about the process. This is like a writing group without having to go anywhere.

Thanks!

A Good Day

At my job, worked on a seminar on money management. Figured out a good way to explain dollar cost averaging.

Afterward, worked on my play, jotting down ideas, reconsidering my characters, figuring out the arc and the journey.

Also wrote a review of All the President's Men on the Write Bunch.

I really enjoy this blog! Wendy

Holly is not just writing...

I finally cleaned out by my bedside table/nightstand today while on the phone with friends from Texas and England. I'm incapable of just sitting and talking on the phone...it just seems like a waste of time. Actually, I cleaned out the drawer, I cleaned off the top, I cleaned off the shelf, and I cleaned off under the table!

So, I can now see the top (hey! it's white!) and I've thrown things away, put things back on the bookshelf, make a pile of books to give away, and most importantly DUSTED. Yuck. I also found some stuffed animals to give to a friend who is collecting them for charity. I hate to say goodbye to some of them but other people possibly under 46 need them more than I do...and I'm keeping my big elephant, Martha, from the great Seattle toy store, and I'm keeping my smaller woolly mammoth because I love elephants.

Cleaning out/off things also cleans out my brain and I think I have some ideas for the last parts of my book! Yay!

Wrestled another one into words

Jayne: Woke up this morning dreaming/thinking about a poem I'd been wanting to include in tomorrow night's reading, and it suddenly seemed possible to fit the parts together. Never mind the creative writing finals waiting to be graded--I've been having some happy hours this morning reading/adding/reading/cutting. It even alludes to global events but in the guise of a sensual poem about making (and eating) ricotta.

Thanks, all, for blog--it really helps to have a place to say this where people know that it matters that we make it to the desk or its equivalent. Jayne

A Good Writing Day

I put three entries on Show Showdown--two reviews and a discussion of the Tony noms.

And I find that I want to write every day so that I have something to announce here every day!

Wendy

Holly: I've managed to get from page 147 to page 148, with only a lot of pain and anguish. OY, this is hard, but I'm one page further into it. YAY!

Remember to Sign Your Posts

Though Jayne did manage to sneak her name in in a writerly fashion. (ADDED LATER: I now also see that her name is underneath. Neeever miiind.)

And good for you, Jayne, for doing something that's not nice!

And yay! Holly for how much you've gotten done and how hard you're working.

Damn, I guess I'd better write something, huh?

Getting Ready for Reading

I'm "featured reader" Thursday night for a poetry month reading, and using the pressure as a catalyst to push through multiple revisions of at least two poems that have languished half-finished for a couple of years, and a BRAND NEW PIECE from a workshop I took last weekend with Maria Mazziotti Gillan (NJ poet). When I told Janice about the concept, she said "That's not nice, Jayne!" and I'm READING IT ANYWAY!

Holly: Last Night

I continued working on my book. I'm on page 148 and it's like pulling teeth now because my characters are going through a lot of painful stuff. But I'm KEEPING AT IT!! 

And thanks Wendy for setting this up. I look forward to being inspired by all our talented friends. 

What I Did Today

I got this blog started. Yay!

Wendy