"The scariest moment is always just before you start."
- Stephen King, On Writing

I have an idea. And I think I'm ready to see where it wants to go. I just need to give myself over to it. And it's scarier than I imagined.

But sending my article out has given me a new resolve. I am going to see if I can't get a plot sketch down tonight. I've got the King quotation to keep me moving.

Krystal

HC: Congratulations!! ...and thanks...

Wow, Jayne and Krystal, I am in awe. My fingers are crossed for both of you.

The "thanks" part comes because I am about to rerererererere-read my finished novel. I'm off to Seattle for a week of fun, food, rest, hiking (minor), and reading "Cape May." Four people have read it and made comments, and now I will do additions, deletions, updates, and try to make it better Better BETTER!! That's my goal anyway. Having my sister OPDers in my head and spirit will help a great deal.

Thank you!!

To Krystal and Jayne

Brava!

(from Wendy)

A Nice Boost

I got an email yesterday from the editors at Seven Kitchens Press that my chapbook manuscript is a finalist in the Keystone Poetry Prize. Still 14 mss. in the mix, but the boost is palpable--the "It doesn't suck" affirmation helped get me back to the writing desk this morning, and to a new (kinda scary, which is good) approach to some material. Even a short poem I rediscovered hiding as a writing exercise and revised. Huzzah! Jayne

Submitted!

I sent in my article submission today for Ethos. All I have to do now is wait. It could take a month for the reviewers to get through the piece, it could be six months--BUT, it's done and it's in and whatever may be will be.

I'm ridiculously happy.

Krystal

There's someone on my trail ...

Yes, indeed. It's a team as a matter of fact, not just "someone." It turns out that I lit the fire just in time: "Other" research on digital media is emerging -- and the study has been given the honor of "one of the first to model social influence in a virtual world." AHHH!! I have no one to blame but myself; I've been fiddling with this since I graduated. Well, it's going out. Better late than never ... besides, we can study the same field, right?

From HC to KD: Will you share?

What is your writing project for? Can you tell us? Is it a magazine submission?

First Drafts Don't Have to Be Perfect

In fact, it's even okay if they stink.

(I just needed to remind myself.) Wendy

PS. I decided to include a picture of something that is perfect, just for contrast.

Make way for progress.

My hardass deadline seems to have kicked me into gear. I put the article through some vicious editing (and in the process realized that somewhere along the line my academic "voice" has changed--but for the better!) I'm winding up data collection and expect/hope to have the discussion and conclusion done over the coming weekend.

This is it. I can see the end of the path up ahead, and I'm relieved.

Yay Krystal!

I'm so glad you've decided to send your baby out into the world. That's very exciting.

Knowing when to let go is an endless challenge for me. I remember reading that one author--I forget who--said that she knew she was done when her changes were hurting rather than helping her work. But, personally, I can't always tell when that is. And sometimes, I just say, "Okay, good or bad, I've got no more juice for this particular project."

I'm looking forward to your pirate writing!

Decisions, Decisions

That's it. I have finally come to the decision that I need to stop nursing my article. The constant tweaks and rewrites mean that I won't send this out until well after I have a child and put him or her through college--and by then, my research will be hopelessly out of date. I am setting a firm deadline to submit the piece to a journal by the end of the month. And then I am moving on--pirates, suspense, archaeology all beckon from the shadow cast by this monster. I'm afraid I'll stop writing completely if I don't let it go.

Bound for Vengeance

That's the title of my lez-noir, for which I now have a plot outline! Yay!

Wendy

Jayne, You Beat Me to It

I was planning on posting a very similar post. One addition though: I write more when sitting with a writing buddy, because I feel sheepish procrastinating quite as much as usual!

Jayne says "Here's to Writing Buddies"

Wendy and I had a great writing weekend here in PA, trolling coffee shops and bookstores for writing times. Between good meals and bad movies, and the fact that nothing's open on Sundays in rural PA, we managed several writing sessions. Working with a writing buddy really helps me keep going longer than I might have by myself, or do one more stint than I would have if I was on my own. It's also nice to be able to talk through an idea if you want. I came away with some new and revised projects to keep going on, and the renewed enthusiasm to do it. Yay for writing buddies! Jayne

I sent out a manuscript

Here's to the adrenaline rush (or hyperventilation, depending on perspective) of sending out a manuscript! I just emailed a newly compiled, revised and edited chapbook manuscript to a competition for PA writers. Wish me luck. It has felt good to really WORK on this, and feels really good to send it out. Jayne

Immersion and Post-Immersion

First, Congratulations, Holly! Finishing is inspiring, and yes, the fact that "finishing" is another stage, and is vulnerable as well as exciting.

Just got back from a 4-day poetry conference--intense, exciting, annoying, terrifying, exciting. After my first poem was workshopped, one that had already been published, I had to go back to my dorm room for a couple of hours and decompress. It got a lot of praise--words like "perfect" and "beautiful" were mentioned, along with some very specific, very good local suggestions for changes. So why did I feel like I wanted to go hide under the covers and never come out again? I just felt so raw, exposed--finally what started the tears, the catharsis, is when the cover-hider part of myself said, "It's hard!" (Waaa). I was happy to hear another part of myself immediately respond "No shit!"

I was able that night to absorb the comments, revise the poem, and go on to have another piece workshopped, as well as survive in fine fashion an individual conference with workshop leader Lisa Williams, and write a new poem from the exercise she gave the group.

So, waaa, yes it's hard, and somehow either the feeling of "nothing" or the feeling of being exposed both seem like things (like Wendy's description of the Descending Demons, whose cousins I know so well) to go through/past again and again. And I want to remember like what's on the other side. It's alive. Jayne

BRAVA HOLLY!!!!!

Wooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo!

Wendy

HC is pretty darned proud right now...

I just finished the first draft of my first novel. Approx 185 pages, 63,000 words...and some of them don't stink!

Who knows.

I'm going to let it sit for a few days, then print the whole thing out and read it. I'm sure there's still a lot of work to be done, but, hey, I finished the first draft. I have a complete stranger (the friend of a friend) who's willing to read it, and I have a good friend who's willing to read it. I'm going to come up with very concrete questions for them to answer. Whatever the answers, I will continue with my edits, etc.

This is very exciting and scary. I'm glad I can now work on my nonfiction book for a while. That's sort of easier because it's a biography. I don't need to be brilliant, I need to be clear and informative.

Right this very moment, life is very good.

Same As It Ever Was, Same As It Ever Was

So I just wrote for the first time in about a week. I had been writing pretty much every day, but then I got busy for a day or two, and as soon as I lost my momentum, the demons descended:

• Demon 1: Why write at all? You'll never finish anything!
• Demon 2: And even if you do, it'll stink.
• Demon 3: And even if it's any good, it'll never get published.
• Demon 4: You're not a real writer.

Well, I finally fought the demons with the only weapon I know of that works: ACTUALLY SITTING DOWN AND WRITING!

I don't know why I have to go through this cycle again and again and again and again, but at least the demon part of the cycle has gotten shorter over the years. That's progress!

Wendy

Back, and back atcha

Dear Possible Dreamers--I can really see the help from our ebbs and flows here, en-couraging each other. Back from a couple of weeks being mom and daughter in CA, it's good to read the posts from everybody and get re-energized to return to my work, and re-reminded that "not being nice" is an important message. It also really helps to hear everybody talking about their writing processes and working in the head, on post-it notes, and on multiple projects at once. Sometimes it's hard to see how things are moving forward in our own work, so it helps to hear others.

I did take pieces to CA and worked on revising them some mornings when I was still on East Coast time and woke up before anybody else. Also took my journal and walked to the Starbucks a mile from my mom's--two healthinesses with one stone. So thanks for your support and presence, everybody. I'm feeling re-energized. Thanks.

Jayne